Anxiety

The In-Laws

When it came to in-laws, I had extremely high expectations. My parents' families got along well, holidays together went smoothly, and there weren't any blowout fights (at least that I know of). So when Steve and I ended up being the two people sitting in the Cowden lobby on Sunday afternoons to call our families, I was really excited to meet everyone that he called.

Then somewhere between Flagstaff and Phoenix on my way to meet them, excitement turned to terror. What if they didn't like me? What if I didn't like them? What if they thought I wasn't good enough? What if they thought I was too short/tall/fat/skinny or had a disproportionately sized head? By the time I got to the restaurant, I was completely terrified.

But to my great relief, Steve's family has proved to be really amazing. They are all kind, genuine people who made me feel at home right from the very beginning. They are a great family that I am excited to become a part of, and I can only hope Steve still feels the same way about my family after a whole summer with them.

This may not seem that extraordinary, but it really is. There are 6 billion people in the world, and most of them can't get along. There is conflict in the Middle East, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and sometimes my house looks like WWIII is about to begin. So I just wanted to say that I recognize and appreciate how lucky I am.

That being said, I'm sure that Michelle, Kim and Allison would be completely fine if I picked slightly unconventional bridesmaid dresses, right?

Ok, maybe not that unconventional, but I did like something like this. Bec and I both tried it on and really like it. It's a flattering length and shape and I think it would look good on everyone invovled. It may require a little bit of Mystic Tanning... But nothing is for sure and feedback is always good.

Ok, I think that's all I have to say for now. And that really wasn't all just sucking up so you'll like the dress. Really.

posted by Rachel at 8:02 PM | 4 comment(s)

Awkward! (picture this being said in Steve's high-pitched voice)

So apparently no situation brings out the kid in you more than having your parents gone on vacation for a few weeks. Not in a magical Disney movie kind of way, but more in a loss of all adult behavior way. Scenario in a nutshell: my parents leave, set some ground rules, Becca and I disagree on the meaning of said ground-rules, I mention that fact to my mom, Becca's not happy and a fight on the scale of the great " Battle of Who Can Do The Best Underwater Handstand of 1994" ensues.

While I don't remember exactly what was said, it basically amounted to:

"You're not the boss of me!"
"I'm telling!"
"You're a butthead!"
"I know you are but what am I?"
"I'm not talking to you!"
"Fine, me neither!"

So that's where it was left almost a week ago. Now there's just short bursts of polite functional conversation that occur maybe once a day. And while I love my sister, having a sister can totally suck. There is this weird competition with always wanting to be the one who's right. You can't just be different, you have to be right, because its beyond our comprehension that two completely different ways of doing things could both be seen as equally good. And, the minute that you accept your sister's choice, it must mean that you are wrong in the way that you've been living. The worst part is that even though I can see exactly what is going on, that still doesn't make me want to be right any less.

If this were anyone else, it wouldn't even be an issue. I can accept other people's different lifestyles or choices mostly because when it comes down to it, I'll never care about them as much as I care about Becca. I want her acceptance and her approval because she means so much to me, and being the arrogant person I am, I'll assume she reciprocates. I criticize her different decisions because I want the best for her, and since I'm so happy with the life I've chosen, its only natural that I'd want to steer her in my direction.

If we do ever talk again, I'll try to remember that I don't always have to be right, and even when I am, it doesn't mean that she's wrong. However, most likely the end of our fight won't be that profound. Eventually she'll need to borrow some clothes...

posted by Rachel at 1:52 PM | 2 comment(s)