Anxiety

Training Day 1: It must be the altitude...

".... and even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through..."

Wow! Running's not so bad. It's beautiful scenery. I'm getting healthy. I can do this. Two miles is going to fly by.


"...and another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust..."

Hmmm... it's been a long time since I've really run like this. I forgot how it makes your chest hurt and your sides hurt and the cold air really burns. Even my teeth hurt. But I'm sure we've gone almost a mile now... Wait, .25 miles? Are you f-ing kidding me?


"...falling down the mountain, end up kissing dirt..."

I always thought it said "and I'm kissing ducks." But that's pretty much what I'm doing right now, isn't it? This is hard.


"...and I'll smile and you'll wave, we'll pretend it's ok..."

I'm dying! I'm dying! Did that girl just lap us? Why is she not dying? Stupid girl. I hope she trips on a big rock.


"...I wrote the gospel of giving up, but the real bombshells have already sunk..."

F this. This is ridiculous. I can't do this at all anymore. If anyone who knew me heard that I was going to try to run a half marathon, they'd laugh. I haven't even mastered casual walking let alone trying to run. Even my mom seems skeptical of this idea, and she thinks that if Becca wants to be a wombat when she's older, we should support her dream. Why am I even trying? I'm not a runner. I'm not athletic. I suck, I suck, I suck.


"...and the bass keeps runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin'..."

That's the only thing that's running anymore. I'm seeing black spots. How much longer?


"...acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends, I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour..."

Running is so not punk rock. And I guess neither is working for a university in a quiet little mountain town. Then again, this song really isn't either. Not their best album. Must keep running.


"...runnin' down the avenue, see how the sun shines brightly in the city, on the streets where once was pity..."

Ok, just keep focusing on how nice it is. Oh great. Another girl who can actually run. Don't you feel special? And you have absolutely no VPL even in spandex pants. Dumb skank.


"...she's always running from something so many things ignored, I try to be not like this but I thought it'd make a good song..."

Is there any chance I'm going to do all of this again tomorrow?


So yeah, there are my ipod-interrupted reflections on the whole experience. If you can name all the artists and songs, you will win my self-respect. I'm realizing I've never done anything like this before. I've never really done anything that required this much forethought and work and discipline. I'm hoping I'll make it. Especially with being a good person being on the line. Argh!

*I accept no responsibility for music choices while running or the gratuitious comments by the voice in my head.

posted by Rachel at 5:18 PM