Anxiety

Quarter-Life Crisis

Have I already claimed to have had one of these? Maybe this is my second. Not second quarter. Second crisis. Anyway… I’m having some issues with the prospect of turning 23. (At this point I’m happy I’m blogging so that the 24+ crowd can’t knock my teeth in.) It’s not that that 23 seems ridiculously old, it just definitely feels like a chapter in my life has ended. I’m no longer a student, I have a husband, I have car payments, I’m drinking coffee every morning and sometimes the music these darn kids are listening to today just sounds like noise to me.

Knowing how final it feels to have this chapter end has made me consider the prospect of all of the future chapters ending. There’s just something about it that feels so final. I think about having kids, and how my Not-Being-A-Mom chapter will abruptly come to a close. And I’m sure being a mom will be amazing and wonderful, but then I will never not be a mom again. And even being alive. Someday that chapter (or maybe it’s the whole book) will end. And even if the afterlife is perfect, I will never be living this life again.

It’s such a strange dichotomy, how things must end in order for things to begin. Right now I’m mourning the part of my life that has already passed. I guess the fact that I’m missing all the wonderful experiences I had is a statement to having lived well. Hopefully by my actual birthday, I will be over it and able to celebrate all of the good things that are just beginning.

Quote for the day: “I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.” – Mitch Hedberg

For a completely different perspective, check out my Being a Grown Up entry from when I turned 21.

And no, this wasn’t just a completely cheap attempt to remind everyone that my birthday is coming up.

posted by Rachel at 11:28 AM