Classic Me
It's almost midnight now, and I'm wide awake. Having so much trouble with the job search has left me with a deep feeling of inadequacy that can be fixed (or at least covered up) only by an over-zealous, over-anxious job search. This led me to apply for 12 jobs on Monday, and another 10 after we got home from Phoenix today. There's a part of me that is listening attentively for my phone to ring even now. Maybe someone is working the night shift in Human Resources...It's amazing how feeling bad about yourself in one aspect of life can so quickly spread to all of the others. Feeling inadequate about not finding a job has led me to feel inadequate in other areas. I hate my hair. I feel completely brain dead. I'm questioning whether pretty much everyone in my life is annoyed with me. I'm worried that I make a terrible first impression. The list goes on and on...
I've never been much of a believer in the power of positive thinking. I always felt like it was just setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm feeling that now more than ever. I want to believe that someone out there will look at my resume and think, "Wow. She worked really hard. That's the kind of person we're looking to hire!" But with that kind of thinking, I feel devastated if I don't get a phone call, rather than just the mild annoyance I feel when I assume they're all just egotistical jerks who never call anyone just to live out some sick power trip.
In other less depressing news, we found a place to live in Phoenix this past week. On June 17th we'll move into a one bedroom townhome at Pinnacle Towne Center (in the coveted Biltmore area of Phoenix). After not being terribly excited by Flagstaff for the past four years, I think Steve and I are both a little sad to leave. A chapter of our life is closing and we know it will never be the same. I guess all we can really ask is that the next chapter of our lives be as happy and fulfilling as this one has been.
Well, I'm boring even myself now, so I shall bid you all a fond adieu.
posted by Rachel at
11:54 PM
2 comment(s):
We are so excited about your move to Phoenix. As far as the job search goes, I know it must be difficult, but hang in there you'll both be working before you know it!
By
Anonymous, at
5:54 AM
Maybe putting things in perspective will help . . . it's been LESS THAN A MONTH since you finished doing your last school assignment :-) I read in a recent Prevention magazine that taking a walk helps just about everything. Flagstaff is a lovely place for that (and will be readily available to you even after you're living in Phoenix). Ommmmmmm ...
By
Anonymous, at
8:20 AM
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