Anxiety

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Fear and Loathing in Flagstaff

Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 p.m. I could already sense the eerie feeling creeping over me that something wasn't right. After months of waiting for the election, I went to bed without knowing the results. This morning I told Steve that I knew Bush had won. I really, truly will never understand how anyone can like that man. I have learned an important lesson from this election, though. I now know that I could gather mass-followings if I were 10 times less intelligent, drove drunk occasionally, shirked my responsibilities, manipulated people's faith to get my way, and cared only about myself and people like me. Today, I decided to try to think like a conservative. I am a white, middle-class woman who will have a university degree in communication. I will most likely make a decent amount of money in my lifetime. My kids will live in safe, middle-class neighborhoods with other children like them. They will receive a superior education to the students in less affluent areas. They will go to college and enter a competitive job market well-prepared, middle-class and white. I have it made. I can wear my cute Gap soccer-mom outfits and never worry about another person if I don't want to. But, my question is, does that give me the right to completely ignore that other kids won't have health care even though mine will? Do I have the right to condemn and scorn pregnant women who consider abortion, but then ignore their starving, sickly baby when its born? Do I have the right to make $250,000 a year and complain that too much of it goes to social welfare that will help those who are not as fortunate as myself? We have a middle-class misconception in this country that because we are handed every opportunity, other people who do not achieve the same status must be lazy. They don't deserve to live long, healthy, happy lives. We don't have to help, because we worked so hard to get where we are. I have to work (barely) part-time while all of my schooling is paid for by a university who practically begged me to attend. Poor me. I have it so hard. Those single mothers working multiple minimum wage jobs just to provide for the latch-key children they barely get to see are f*cking sloths compared to me. Oh wait... one more thing. Since I am saved by the grace of Jesus Christ and he will provide for me, who cares if I do anything good for humanity? God doesn't like most of those people, so why should I? I think I finally have the republican mindset down.

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